Mahatma Gandhi’s final word.

I read my morning newspaper in the toilet, be it paper newspaper or internet newspaper. It was on one of those fine relaxed mornings that the websites screamed – Gandhiji didnt say “hey ram” when he was shot! What a news, I was stupefied… how could they say that?

The the great grandson of Gandhi had clarified, that he indeed did say “hey ram” when he was shot! Then some other guy checked FIR and said that Gandhiji didnt say that! Totally confused by all this, I had to call my historical sources to confirm what Gandhiji actually said and that was indeed quite a revelation. And as per sources the following had happened on that day.

Around 5.00 pm, Gandhiji had a cup of tea, and was planning for the evening prayer. Nathuram Godse was waiting for his time in the crowd, and from the appearance it seemed like he was calm. Around 5.10-5.15 pm, Gandhiji walked to the prayer ceremony and Nathuram godse came forward on his way. He touched Gandhijis feet at exact 5.15 pm.

From there my sources tell me an authentic story. It seems that after touching gandhiji’s feet Godse’s and Gandhiji’s eyes met, time froze and they had a conversation. No, I wont go into the transcript of the conversation, but most of Godse’s speech was in hindi mixed with marathi.

Apparently he told during that time, what a mistake Gandhiji had done by allowing partition, rather than helping the people, he had punished them, by allowing the division of a nation. Godse thanked him for that and said something like “with great power comes great responsibilities”, and took out his revolver.

But Gandhiji argued back about the greatness of non-violence and peaceful protest. He argued his case also strongly and a great debate ensued. Just like the tapasya of Maharshi Vishwamitra forced the gods to appear, this debate forced the appearance of all the devas of the heaven. To resolve the debate and to continue the cycle of karma they decided to show the future to them.

Suddenly the future vision came in front of them, a future where Gandhiji would be just a photo on the wall in all government offices, a great person whom all can claim rights for, but no one follows, where what he stood for made no impact, where they might even argue about what his final words were. Gandhiji just realizing the future was shocked! His principles will die with him, what he had thought as a golden age would be just a dream.

Even Godse realized his dream will be just a dream, there would be no hindu rashtra, no one would be treated equally be it a hindu or a muslim and any dream of realizing the a ram rajya would remain that – a dream. No one will even try to understand his position clearly. He will be potrayed as a murderer!

Gandhiji wend deep into shock trying to understand the future and assimilate it and just then, exactly at 5.17pm Godse’s finger pressed the trigger. As the bullets pierced Gandhiji’s chest, still in shock with the vision of the future, Gandhiji uttered his final words – Aila!

Mani periyappa

Polayaadimone. That was his standard swear word. Depending upon the intensity of the tone you could figure out, if that is a serious telling off, a mild scolding or a benevolant appreciation. That one swear word was sufficient for mani periyappa to express his feelings. He was second eldest among the four brothers, of which my father is the youngest.

I dont know much about mani periyappa’s childhood, but from several anecdotes, it seemed he had an interesting one. My grandfather had a hotel business in Tamilnadu and Mani periyappa’s earlier schooling was in tamil. (He used to tell us couplets from thirukkural, occasionally). But the studies stopped, as my grandfather eventually moved to kerala permanently. The only clear information about Mani periyappa’s childhood came from my grandma who used to narrate stories from the past.

It seems that once when he was a kid, he got very upset with his mother over something, and threatened to commit suicide. Grandma narrated the tale with a chuckle, as how periyappa climbed a tree with a chaaku charadu (jute thread) and prepared the thread for ending his life. My grandfather came to know about this and immediately grabbed hold of a strong rope and came to the scene. The situation now got worse, as my grandfather threatened periyappa, that if indeed he came down without committing suicide, he will be beaten up, which he guaranteed that wont be forgotten for a long time.

My grandma was wondering who was more mad, my grandfather or periyappa standing confused and in fear on the tree with a jute thread hanging off the branch now. As my grandfather personally offered to replace the weak jute thread with strong coir rope the situation only offered two possible resolutions. 1. commmit suicide on the rope provided by my grandfather, or 2. climb down the tree and hope that grandma will save him from the imminent beatings. Sense prevailed and option 2 was taken.

After my grandfather settled in perumbavoor, Kerala, Periyappa got a job at Rayons factory, a job that he continued till the company locked out. Meanwhile he had got married to Narayani periyamma and had two kids – kumar anna and latha acca – the only sister for us 8 brothers of the joint family. Braving ups and downs of a life when the factory closed, leaving him unemployed, the family survived on murukku/pappadom business and kumar anna chipping in with his part-time work at a ration shop. But life’s sudden downs didnt break his will to go on. Years flew by as we all kids whom he had mentored, grew up braving those periods, got married, settled down. He grew older. Though his health was failing, his will kept him going.

I still remember the carrom board games, that he used to play with my father and friends, how my father would keep on losing the parippuvada/pappadavada/cigarette bet playing against periyappa, who was a master in his game. We kids used to watch his play in wonder, be it the carrom or rummy and other card games. I remember the day when I fractured my wrist, he was the one who rushed me to hospital, stayed with me for 3 days till the doctors sent me home with the plaster on. A father figure who kept a watch on all of us. I would gorge the thin crispy dosais he made, myself and periyamma would almost fight to have his dosais.

He is no more. I got a phonecall tonight – “Periyappa is gone”, my brother Prasanth told me over phone. That was it. He was in hospital for a nearly a week, and he passed away, just like that. As I heard the news over phone thousands of miles away in UK, nothing made sense.

I remember the last time I spoke with him over the phone. He was scolding me for not having kids yet after 4 years of marriage. “shandan ennu koopuduva ellavarum”, (people will call you a eunuch) he said, “vegam pillere undaakkikkoo” (make kids fast). “Not to worry,” I said to him laughingly, “it doesnt matter what the world calls me, I need no kids to prove I am a male”… He laughed at me, and shouted over the phone – “polayaadimone”.

Loose weight, become gora

As my cold is slowly on the retreat, I am getting back to my favourite pastime. Fitting myself snugly lengthwise on our ikea sofa and watching the telly.

Richard Dawkins was presenting a documentary about the root of all evil. Himself being an atheist, he was contrasting science with religion and the re-emergence of the christian equivalent of extremism. I was expecting him to bring Buddhism and Hinduism also into the documentary, but it didnt come at all. I was surprised, when I went to the channel 4 website for that program; they had eastern religious imagery on the left side of the page as background and the abrahamic religious imagery on the right. Though the program had not even mentioned eastern faiths, I was wondering about the appropriateness of that representation. I will have to assume that maybe in next episode he will bring in eastern religions also into context, to justify the imagery on the website.

Following that was a Paul McKenna programme to reduce weight on sky one. Unfortunately my wife was there before I could change channels, and I had to go through the whole program. My wife considers me a bit unhealthy, and wants me to loose a bit of weight. I would happily classify myself as being endowed with “extra muscles”. Later I found on the website that within 4 weeks of this plan, I could see how I have faired. Maybe the program is to “loose weight, become gora.”

Loose weight, become gora

Futile life

Its stuck between nose and mouth. No not on the outside, from inside.

Its that time again, when one feels the futility of whole life. Life becomes totally suffocating and pointless. You begin to wonder how you are going to have a normal life again. The whole being seems to have let you down, and you just pathetically bide your time. You try to sleep, but you feel as if both the nose are blocked and you cant breath even a bit. You wonder how you are still alive.

Somehow you drift into sleep, and you wake up to find the same problems all over again. The agony seems eternal, you think about buddha, who said “life is full of dukkha” and wonder how truthful these words are. You feel like a prisoner from the childhood stories, fully chained tight, tight even to breathe. You shuffle in your bed trying to think some positive thoughts, how things could be better tomorrow, but the reality forces a sneeze out of you. Looking at your hand you realize the sticky stuff that has been holding you hostage.

Yes, the common cold, and that bit of pleghm thats stuck between the nose and the mouth. No, not on the outside, from inside, irritating you.

Being Superhero

I was driving home with my wife one evening, and cruising at around 40 mph, and suddenly a pigeon flew directly into our car. Its death was certain, but my super-hero senses reacted quickly and I swerved the car, nearly causing an accident. But I saved the pigeon’s life. Although the sudden events caused a shocked expression on my wife’s face, as I eventually explained the importance of saving life – one of the several prime directives of a super hero – she understood it. Similarly lives of several rabbits that jump in front of my car are saved -with superhero sense reaction-, while I drive early morning to office (which is close to a reserved green belt area).

I am a super hero in disguise, and I do save lives at will. From parrots to cats and rabbits to humans, I have seen them all and saved several of their lives. My story of being a super hero is not overnight, where I was bitten by a radiated bed-bug (imagine the plight of spiderman, had he been bitten by a bedbug than a spider) or came from another planet. The comic book superheroes are good in the books they are in… comic books. Real superheroes are very much unlike that. I know because I am a trained one. It was gradual process of discovery and training, till I became a fully qualified superhero. Being one is not easy, you have to take lessons to be one and the lessons are tough. The first lesson itself was not easy to begin with.

It all began several years ago. One evening, my brother brought home a parrot whose wings were clipped. The parrot was given by his friend who claimed to have caught it. That parrot looked miserable. The cage seemed too small for the parrot to be in. I sometimes do wonder if we brothers were brought up with wrong moral codes. Who else in this world will be brought up on an ideal of non-violence and compassion, that too, during the present time.

Either way, the caged parrot was too much for us. The super-hero element in us awakened that day. We need to save this parrot, make it free. We didnt cry out “freeedom… Libertyyyy…” like the great american hollywood heroes, but we did want to set the bird free, even though the bird’s wings were clipped. We took the cage to our neighbour’s fence, beyond which was this huge unkempt garden; nothing less than a jungle for us. It was unanimously decided that it was the place where we will set the bird free. I held the cage while my brother opened it to set it free into the wilderness. The only thing that we didn’t notice was the cat hiding behind the bushes watching us. As the parrot took the first hops of freedom, the cat leapt and within a flash caught the parrot and disappeared. We stood there shocked and looking stupid.

Super-hero lesson 1 : Don’t interfere with others lives. What you might think will be a good deed might turn out real bad.

The second lesson was even tougher. This happened later during my school days. Our school was around a mile and a half from our home, and mom used to hand over two 10 paise coins for our bus fare (in kerala the bus fares are lower for students). She very well knew that we will be pocketing that money to buy ice-sticks during lunch break, the plain ones which cost 10 paise and the semia-ice-stick cost 15 paise. The walk to the school will go through interior roads where I would meet my friend Manikandan half-way, who will be my company and bench-mate in the school. The return also inevitably took the same route.

It was one of the evening during the monsoon season while returning from school that I noticed it. This was long time after the parrot lesson. Manikandan had reached home and I was doing the last half mile lone stretch, when I found the little kitten alone and lost, drenched in rain on the road. Its meow itself got drowned in pitter-patter of the rain. It was cold and shivering. I had to help him. I picked him up, dried him using my school bag and carried him in one arm, the other arm holding the umbrella, walking with a bit of urgency back home.

At home, no questions were asked as I explained the whole story, and my mom and brother ensured that it had a home, with lot of dry jute bags and warm milk that mom gracefully provided. After watching over it for some time, we left it to rest. The next morning the cat had disappeared, it was not to be found anywhere. Frantic searches by myself and my brother yielded no results. “It might have gone back to its mother” our mom tried to console us. But still it was indeed mysterious that the small kitten could disappear and that too in the monsoon season.

We found the kitten eventually – well its lifeless body, to be precise, the next day. He had walked over the wall and probably fallen into our house well. We saw the brown side and the white underbelly of the kitten in the well floating still, while my dad and others were trying to get the body out. Pottassium permangenate was used to clean the well, but no one scolded us.

Super-hero lesson 2 : Don’t you understand thick head – Don’t interfere with others lives. What you might think will be a good deed might turn out real bad.

The third lesson also came soon. While I liked cats, my brother liked dogs. One day while he came back from school (we travelled separately with different groups of friends), he had brought a small pup. A very lovely and lively pup it was, as it played with us wagging its tiny tail. Mom was there with a saucer full of lukewarm milk, the only thing that was remaining was a name for the dog. Since my brother brought it home, he decided to name it after his favourite West Indies bowler – Micheal Holding. Our dog was since known as Holding.

We kept him tied in the mornings and let him free at nights, where he would go to the neighbour’s unkempt jungle-like garden and get some bones, dropped off either by birds or cats. We built it a big cage and our milkman – whom we all called kaakka – gave it a saucer full of milk every morning. Then one day he disappeared, our calls to Holding early in the morning didn’t bring a hyperactive-licking-the-face-jumping-all-over-you-dog, it just brought silence. He was never to be seen again. That was the third lesson.

Super-hero lesson 3 : Repeat of lesson 1 & 2 Don’t interfere with others lives. You have the right to delude yourself that you are helping others by doing something, but don’t delude yourself by thinking that it will always workout the way you want.

The story continues from there, several such lessons were given during the training. The ‘conditioning’ of the training is such that you start thinking and acting like a superhero naturally. I could go on and on about the lessons one by one, but it’s forbidden – as each one has to learn their own lessons. I am learning mine, being a full fledged superhero is just one part of that learning process, and the lessons continue. I would want to give you more of the training details, but I have to rush. There are some lives to be saved, you see. See you in a moment.