Author: praveen

and life is not interesting?!!!

This interesting event happened recently. My Grandmom is severly ill. She had been in and out of hospital due to health problems. Doctors had given her around a week to live some few months ago, but she has strongly carried on, with the support of my appa, her youngest son, and my amma, her favourite daughter in law. Last time I saw her, she was bed-ridden, but still sound, and actively engaging in chat with me. She had asked me to pray for her death! (Oh yes! Me praying for your death.. keep that in your mind!!). But poor soul, she dosent want to trouble anyone during the old age and wants to die soon, and she asks all of us to pray for her death.

Since my engagement was at Bombay, my parents had to come, along with my eldest uncle, who is the head of our family to Bombay. Since my grandma required continued attention, Kumar anna’s wife agreed to look after her.

My Periyappa(Eldest uncle) was doing preparations to come to bombay, as he came across our astrologer, coming to him with some news and advice. After chatting with my periyappa for a while, he became a bit serious. He finally broke the news to my periyappa.

“The planets conjuction is not that favourable for your mom” he said., “You dont have to worry about her any more” he continued, “She will leave her body before you come back from bombay”.

My periyappa was unruffled., he knew what has to come has to come, and it will be good if Grandma dies peacefully, than getting torutured by the ills of the body. My dad was the next one to get the news from our astrologer.. he gave the deadline of my appa’s return from bombay for my grandma’s death. Appa, being more attached to my grandmom was a bit concerned. But he had to go to Bombay also.

Periyappa and my parents came to Bombay for my engagement, and indeed a news was waiting, when they reached back home! They didnt even reach home before they got the news!! The astrologer was no more!!!

Bang!!

Bang!!

Oops.. isnt this how you come back with a bang!! Oki..no pj’s.. I have been really out of touch with recording my thoughts here.. Well, I had many, but didnt have time to put those in place here. Now I think I will start again.. I have so many stories to tell, but I am good at telling them and not writing them.

So What were you doing all these days?! Well(scratching my head).. umm… was busy.. didnt have time (An excuse which will serve you till eternity)

Busy with what? Things.. career, learning new things.. ah yes.. I learned CSS in less than a day(but anyway its soo simple), then I was rubbing my nose into XML for sometime, got bored when I reached DTD’s.. So left it there, rubbed a nose with a bit of java, a bit of Lotus notes development etc etc

What!! Do you know anything properly at all? Hmm.. good question.. infact a philosophical one.. I will have to think.. but it take time to think.. and oops.. I forgot!! I dont have time.. next question please.

You wont change, will you? Well, regarding change, I beleive that only thing that wont change is change. Well, I have changed a lot..the correct answer will be, yes my mask has changed a lot! And yes, I have to write a lot about change, how life changes, how humans change, society, civilisation and how all these fit into the cosmological order of things..

So now you will be regular in live journal? Hmm.. yes.. planning to.. (praveen and pradeep may kill me If I wont!!).. I am actually waiting for praveen to write his thoughts.. and pradeep to comeout and write his own thoughts as it appears..

do you..: (interrupting).. Enough questions for today yaar.. I am planning to be regular from now onwards.. I had written some entries at home, but then after Writing them, I read through them and they seems to have been more philosophical.. I better go and delete them soon.. I must have written over a page in word.. and I dozed off to sleep leaving my computer running, just to get up after some time, and reading it (and almost scatching my head ЁЯШЙ

but… Aaj ke liye bus yaar.. will be in tomorrow…

ps: Honestly I have a lot to write, about life, death, thoughts hanging in between, impressions, patterns, UFO’s, God, Heaven, India, Musharraf, physics, truth, buddha, birds, dolphins, shaving, red indians, racism, hovercraft, buttons, paganism, three world theory, masks, reality, cooking, vedic theory, Aryan invasion theroy, Theory of Genetic purity, cloud watching, earth, meditation, new religion, satan, jesus, so called father in heaven, blindess, mobiles, mentally retarded kids, Karma theory, mythology interpretation, lying, flying, botany, chemistry, dream theory, Ashtavakra geeta, osho, friends oops..why am I putting all these here.. the list goes on and on.. I will be back..

Glimpses of soul

She always used to smile,
but deep inside her,
a wound was eating her soul.
She didnt have a choice, but to wait.

She hid her scars,
never revealed it,
for she knew, that,
she has to wait.

The scar started bleeding,
when her friend came home,
her child along with her,
her smile widened,
but the bleeding now more painful.

she played with the child,
lest the bleeding increase,
and the scars widen,
She slept with the child,
but she was all awake.

Soon the time came,
the child left her,
the wounds deepened,
blood gushed out
she could feel the void,
a scar deep in her soul.

The Joker, came in later,
the smile was back on her face,
but deep inside her,
a wound was eating her,
She didnt have a choice, but to wait.

Alas, as always,
the joker only had questions,
No answers for her!!

Why do we!!

Why do we,
allow ourselves to be punished?
letting our soul down,
and in a way ourselves

Why do we punish ourselves,
for the “wrongs we do”,
when the wrongs are apprently,
defined wrongly!!

Why cant we lift our head up,
and look up with no guilt bogging down.,
for we should be nothing but,
eternal energy playing around.

Why do we get entanlged,
in the web we weave,
from the birth, the time we come to earth,
till the time of our last breath!!

Why dont we stop once,
and look, just look,
to see the world,
the wonder that it is.

Why do we keep running,
on the path winding,
round and round,
till we pass the baton and wither away!!

Why do we ask questions,
when we dont need answers,
we only need support,
from the other questioners around!!

A day!


Saturday!!

An early morning drive, Getting lost in the way,
A petrol station, Got re-direction.

Reached Protsmouth, follow directions,
to the Car ferry,for we wanted to take,
the car across.

No way!., said the man, at the ferry, for we had not,
booked in advance.,and cant take the car across.

Parked by the seaside, The port where it proclaimed,
British navy led by lord someone(nelson??!!), sank many enemy ships.

Got into the hovercraft, yet another marvel of human mind.,
a simple ride of 9 minutes, saw us in Ryde (isle of wight).

Unpacked sandwiches, munched on them,
with added coffee, and prayers for sun!!

Short glimpse of the beach, No train travel,
A family bus pass,To see whole island.

A good bus drive, came to Sandown,
a small town, by the side of the beach.

A long walk, to find the ideal place,
for Rashmi to sit, already occupied by,
a sold white brit!!
(whoo. it rhymed!!)

Rashmi and Zubin relaxed, Sagar and myself set out,
to find if we could, get into the sea.

The sea was cold, we took the walk,
a few photos here and there, and found the Jet bike hire.

to be or not to be., that was the question now,
after a lot of thought, I decided to face my fear.

I hired a jet bike, Setout to the deep sea,
alone, fear lurking in my eyes!!

Twenty minutes of joy, splashing through waves,
highspeed and fast turns, Sea was an open ground to play!!

Got drenched in the salty sea, wind rustling past me,
riding the waves, like a adventurer to be.

back from ride, a walk by seaside,
a change of clothes, and to the next beach.

On the way, a beautiful shop,
full of cretive ideas, marvels of human mind!!

Bus to shanklin, to a chipshop,
beans on toast, and portion of chips.

Back to beach, overlooking the cliff,
Beautiful place, glimpses of heaven on earth.

A walk here, a walk there,
We missed other part of the island, since we depended on bus.

back to Ryde, by takin bus ride,
an Icecream by seaside, and a short walk.

Hovercraft, brought us back,
to porsmouth, from where we left.

A short walk, to the carnival place,
and back to the car, munching hot chips.

A long drive back, three tired persons,
and a happy person, behind the wheels.

Sometimes, Indecision is the best decision that you can make…

So it was planning all day, whenever there was free time., and Rashmi was planning hard.. she was finding all the details possible for the Bank holiday weekend. The next Bank holiday will be in august, so we had decided to do something different this weekend.

We were planning to go to one of the beaches in UK.. so the options began with Brighton, then soon turned to Margate, and soon Camber sands also came into picture. We thought all the people will be coming, and it will be good fun with beach cricket and the like..

As the “Wonderfully planned trip”, that we had to embark came near, one by one opted out. I had no problem if anyone dont come, as I am always in my own world.. Rashmi coulndt take that lightly and she felt bad that the trip was not working out fine..

Solution.. a late night decision that we are going to “Isle of Wight.” A wonderful place, it said on the website, an island 13 by 23 miles wide, blessed with natural beauty, beaches covering everyside. Finally we decided, that we will be off to Isle of Wight.

Streams of thoughts

Streams of thoughts come over your shoulder and scream right into your ears. Even closing the ears wont help as then it starts to pierce the ear from inside. Unable to resist the flow of thoughts, humans sit there, being worked upon by mind. They are helpless, they just play games as the mind tells them. They realise, they are bound. The more they think they are free, the more entangled they become with the chains.

One human life and thought become insufficient to understand life. Moods become unexplainable, and we just live on.. Just like vegetables.. Some decide to change this, without realising that in the process they are only becoming sophisticated vegetables. We cling on to society, or we decide to stay away., the other lot look and laugh at both categories.. Little do they realise that they ought to laugh at themselves. People cling on to beliefs, Some believe and others believe in non-believing, yet another set laugh at these two, believers and non-believers and their ongoing fight, not realising that they haven’t got anything to cling to and the ground is fast slipping.

Every one walking on earth, following something, some times come someone, who creates something new to follow and people abound to blindly cling on to that thread. Survival seems to be the only necessity. From the time of birth, humans have nothing but something to cling on. Be it a hand, belief, society, family and that thing which he clings on becomes his umbilical cord of life.. no one dare cut that. No one is born. They just cling on, from one to another, for they are afraid to be born.

No one knows the truth.. Only stories about truth. Happy and content, people survive on that. No one wants to know the truth. If some one inquires about truth, he is losing the last thread of hope.. He starts falling., and he has to catch something to survive..

<silence>

either this is no reality or everything is reality